February 13, 2008 at 5:07 am 2 comments

     I’ll never accept this. I’ll always accept my child for who and what he is, but as long as there is hope, I will never, ever quit for him. We are continually looking for new ways to help C break through the barriers in his brain and body, and I doubt I’ll ever give up the search. With each new step, be it therapeutic or medical in nature, we find something or someone that helps, and it often comes in forms we don’t expect.

          There are some moments when I feel like I’m beating my head against a wall, but they always pass. When I’m at my lowest, C does something that amazes me in its power to bring back the faith. So no, I’ll never accept this for him. It makes him who he is and I completely accept him for who he is but I will continue in my quest to find ways to make his journey through this world happier, healthier, and safer. So I suppose I’ve failed the acceptance portion of the stages of grief, but that’s okay by me.

Entry filed under: autism. Tags: , , , , , , .

Depression Is there something in the water?

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. awalkabout  |  February 13, 2008 at 1:37 pm

    I understand. You don’t want to change the essence of them, but at the same time, you want to do what you can to make life easier–develop language to communicate, learn to overcome the social awkwardness, etc–just so they can fit in enough to be happy. A tough balance, hmm?

    I so love C’s personality, and I remember when we first started the DAN! protocol, and I asked the doc if we “recovered” him, would he still have his same personality? I was so worried that he would change his “essence,” as you so perfectly put it. But it breaks my heart when I see him shunned or he’s upset because no one invites him over to play. I’m happy to report that even though he has become a great deal healthier, he’s still the same little man he’s always been. 🙂

  • 2. hfamom  |  February 17, 2008 at 3:05 am

    Good for you! Keep up the good fight!


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