Friends in all places

February 20, 2008 at 2:37 am 3 comments

     C is the friendliest child in the world. He cares about everyone and everything. He talks to babies, kids, adults, elderly people, animals, planes, trains, cars, flowers, trees and bikes. Still, however, he is the friendliest kid without any friends you could ever meet. He is “friendly” with many children at school, but he doesn’t have any close friends. No one is running home from school begging to have him over. If I don’t initiate the contact with a parent and invite a child to play, he would never see anyone, because no one ever invites him over. It’s heartbreaking.

     That’s part of why we moved close to my family, because we figured if Ga and Pa were two of his best friends, so be it. His friends will probably always come in unusual forms.

     A case in point is a program they have at his school. Mentors come in and volunteer their time once a week to hang out with a child. Generally they are children that are struggling in some way, and while I know C’s mentor, “Mrs. T,” probably wonders what she can possibly teach him in terms of academics, she gives him the world in his having his own special friend at school who is only there for him. It is the highlight of his week…well, maybe next to gym class.  

Entry filed under: autism. Tags: , , , , , .

Snowflakes everywhere! It can go either way.

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. awalkabout  |  February 20, 2008 at 2:07 pm

    I’ve noticed Captain Oblivious has much more successful relationships with adults around him than with peers. In fact, he’s announced that John the bus driver is his best friend. And since John the bus driver is a little creepy, that would alarm me except the man ALSO never gets off his butt, even to help the kids on the bus. So I think they’re pretty safe.

    I know – C does better with 3 year olds and grown-ups. But boys close to his own age may as well be from Mars. I think that’s why a number of adults I know say to me, “Gosh, I don’t see anything wrong with him!” But they’re talking about Presidents, planets, and state capitals with him. They forget that 6 year olds aren’t sitting around debating the merits of math problems. Love the bus driver being the best friend – last year C’s best friend was the Jack Russell terrier, Bill, who lived down the street. And sure enough, the person C seems most interested in at school is the custodian. He’s a wonderful man, thank goodness!

  • 2. Jesch  |  February 20, 2008 at 6:11 pm

    Hooray for Mrs. T!

    Yup, LOVE her! It’s such a cool program. I love that people volunteer to do it.

  • 3. hfamom  |  February 21, 2008 at 12:04 pm

    I’m with Jesch! Horray for Mrs. T!!

    It’s funny– J is a combination of “Captain Oblivious” and C. He likes little kids and grown ups… little kids (2-3) follow him around and he can ignore them. Adults think he’s adorable and quirky…

    He doesn’t have any real friends but, neither do his “friends”… it’s tough to have to orchestrate friendships but on the bright side at least we get to pick his friends!

    I know – it’s both ends – grown-ups totally “dig” C and vice versa, and he seems to relate to 3 year olds. But 6-7 year old kids just don’t get him. But I guess that’s pretty common for these kiddos to relate to older and younger but not their own age. And true, we do have some control over friends! That’s certainly a good thing…


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