What We Need

Walk on the wild side

April 4, 2008 at 10:01 am 2 comments

     As we navigate this path through autism and all that comes with it, I find myself struggling with semantics, debates, and discussions about curing, fixing, treating, celebrating, helping, assisting, teaching and valuing our children and adults with some form of autism. I believe I can value my child and his sense of self while at the same time providing him with the skills necessary to help him find his way in the world. I’m pretty sure I can help him understand that there is not a single thing wrong with him at the same time I can help his body feel better.

     For C, at least, there are some medical issues that go along with his autism, and as we treat those issues, he grows in leaps and bounds in terms of his development and his autism-ness. I’ve always had a hard time separating autism from the kid, and frankly, there’s probably no point in doing so. He is who he is, and his behavior, challenges and struggles come from a place so blended in his very self that there’s no sense in trying to divide it out into its individual parts. I remember asking his autism doctor, who is helping us treat his tummy and autoimmune issues, if his personality would change as his body grew healthier. I desperately love his personality and don’t want to change it for the world, but if making him healthy in turn makes him lose his “formal” diagnosis of autism, so be it. I don’t think “cure” is the correct word for what I think will happen to him as he grows up, because I suspect he’ll still be the same interesting, wonderful, delightfully quirky person he is. 

     I only want two things for C, to be healthy and happy. Whatever that entails for him is what I want. It has nothing to do with what I want him to be, with how difficult at some times, and rewarding at most times, it may be for me to be his mother, or for any desire for him to fit into my world. There is no “his” world or “our” world that are separate planets. Our “worlds” collide simply because we’re people on this earth at the broadest, mother and child at the narrowest, and we are walking this journey together.

Entry filed under: autism. Tags: autism, health, high functioning autism, special needs, value of life.