A few hours

September 16, 2008 at 6:02 am 2 comments

     Since C was born, he has been on my mind, one way or another, almost 24/7. I am constantly thinking about how to get him to eat new things, how to work out the latest behavior challenge, or investigating what programs/sports/therapies will be the best for him. I can’t just sign him up for a class at the Boys and Girls Club; I need to find out what size the class is, who is teaching it, and if it’s in the loud (and intolerable) gym. Do I sign him up for gymnastics class, a substitute for physical therapy, at the local place that’s not very good in terms of gross motor work but has kids from his school? Or do we go to the place in town that has a one-on-one teacher for him, but no kids from his school?

     While he’s at school, I can often be found figuring out the latest EOBs from the insurance company to make sure things were billed correctly and then working them into our flex plan for reimbursement. Or I’m running around to one of 3 grocery stores I visit on a regular basis to accommodate his (and my) dietary restrictions. Or I’m calling around to see if we’ve moved up on the wait list for music or physical therapy.

     Yet today, as I was working my paid job, I realized several hours had gone by without my thinking about C in some form or another. Several hours. I’m frankly not sure that’s ever happened before, except when Husband and I are on a trip by ourselves somewhere and C is happily ensconsed at “Grandma Camp.” I sat here at my desk, quite stunned, actually, while I pondered the magnitude of the moment. I took it as a sign, both that C is growing, and that I am slowly becoming able to cross the line back into my own life, my own thoughts, my own interests. It felt like the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. “Ahhh,” I thought, “here I am.”

Entry filed under: autism. Tags: , , , , .

Donkey or Elephant? It’s a no

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. robinaltman  |  September 16, 2008 at 5:27 pm

    That is totally fabulous. Now you can join me and think completely inane thoughts such as, “What’s for lunch? Are my pants too short?” and the most important, “I wonder if anyone smelled that fart I just made?”.’

    The answers are “cookies,” “Too short? There’s no such thing,” and “Yes, absolutely, even all the way across the country from your house to mine.” Gross. Cut it out.


  • 2. kristi  |  September 22, 2008 at 8:28 am

    There are days when I think I am getting there, and then I am not. I guess I will always worry about my son, how he is doing, how his day is going….if I am doing enough.

    It is definitely a constant. Especially the “if I am doing enough” worry. Goodness. No wonder we’re all gray! At least I’m getting there…they’re popping up like flies.


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