It is what it is

October 1, 2008 at 5:42 am 6 comments

     Occasionally, I have moments where I wonder if C has outgrown his diagnosis. Some days, he does so well, and I wonder if we saw the same doctor now that we did when he was 3, she’d still give him the same diagnosis. Yet there’s really no other diagnosis that fits; we’ve always said he has “C syndrome” because his medical issues combined with his developmental ones just don’t fit into a tidy little package with a word attached to it. 

     Usually, when I have those days of wondering where he fits on the diagnosis wheel of fortune, there is some cruel reminder of the reality of the situation. He is the only child not included in a game at the park, he can’t eat his ketchup because it’s a slightly different shade of red than the previous bottle, or he has a complete and terrible meltdown because I got him a new toothbrush. A slap in the face, really, is what it is for me. “Yup,” the universe says, “this child will struggle with some things his whole life. Deal with it.” And I do, and he does, and we all move on.

     Yet tonight I had one of those reminders that really made me smile. It wasn’t a “typical” day by any stretch; there was the distress this morning over the potential of being even a second late to school this morning, combined with the total heartbreak this afternoon due to his placing last of all the 2nd grade boys in a fitness challenge at school. We talked long and hard about how everyone is good at something different, and how he’s good at many things, and how he’s only competing with himself on the fitness challenge. I reminded him he was born early and born small, and that he still had some catching up to do, and that probably “N” would always be taller than he would, and how that’s okay.

     So I didn’t have far to fall today. I wasn’t getting all giddy about C “graduating” from special education or anything like that. Perhaps that’s why tonight’s reminder was such a gentle, actually sweet one. I walked into his room to change his sheets, and saw on the floor, lined up in perfect rows and perfect lines, all of his stuffed animals in complete and perfect alphabetical order.

Entry filed under: autism. Tags: , , , , , , , .

I’m okay with it Technically it’s still Wednesday here…

6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Jesch  |  October 1, 2008 at 7:25 am

    It’s too bad they don’t rank what level everyone is on in rocket math so C could be top dog…

    Can you believe he’s actually NOT??? He is in a really bright class – there are about 6 of them right on top of each other at the moment. But I did talk to his PE teacher today, and C didn’t give me the whole story – not every kid participated, and she reminded them 400 zillion times it wasn’t a race. I’m sure he probably did come in last of the kids he did run with, and I know he was sad about that. 😦

  • 2. kristi  |  October 1, 2008 at 8:51 am

    Awwwwwww……….very cool.

  • 3. robinaltman  |  October 1, 2008 at 12:21 pm

    I used to line up my stuffed animals by category (mammals, reptiles) and characteristics (long tails, big noses). Then I’d say goodnight to each one, being very careful not to miss one so as not to hurt its feelings. What’s my diagnosis? 🙂

    Well, I’ve been struggling with this one all day, and all I can come up with is that you were a little girl with an observant nature! I too remember making sure to kiss every animal, but there was no categorization or lining up going on! But then again, I was kissing a picture of Barry Gibb every night before bed too, so I was a little distracted…

  • 4. mama mara  |  October 1, 2008 at 8:40 pm

    I have a diagnosis for C: adorable!!!

    Awww, I like that one! 🙂

  • 5. robinaltman  |  October 1, 2008 at 9:34 pm

    Oh! Barry Gibb! My mother reads scandal rags and used to say, “What that Victoria Principal did to little Andy Gibb!” Then she’d “harrumph”. She didn’t have anything to say about Barry, though. Guess he wasn’t tortured by “That Victoria Principal”!

    Thanks for making my diagnosis “observant” instead of “insane”!

  • 6. LoisR  |  October 2, 2008 at 12:26 pm

    I just logged on to ‘catch-up’…after an awful morning here in the comp. lab. Glad I did ’cause you and C always make me smile from the inside out…and now I can get through the afternoon here. Thanks!

    There must’ve been something in the water today! C got counted on for the first time this year during special. 😦 But I hope your afternoon was better!


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