The core of the matter

May 25, 2009 at 9:21 pm 10 comments

     There are always memorable comments made at C’s IEP meetings; comments that stick in my head for one reason or another. Usually, it’s because someone on his team has so beautifully captured something about him, and I hold the thought close to figure out what to do with it later. Long past the point of leaving an IEP meeting feeling as though my heart has been ripped from my chest and stomped on, I now feel as though the members of C’s team so closely grasp both his strengths and challenges that I find myself inspired to soldier on in shepherding this amazing child.  

     At C’s most recent IEP meeting it was the statement that C “has no core group of close friends” that stuck with me afterward. Friendly with most everyone, C seems to remain the friendliest kid in the world without any real friends. He’s definitely doing better – he has settled down and the kids seem to accept him more. Yet he continues to be, at his very center, alone. It struck me that this really is the crux of the issue for C. We can work around his handwriting challenges, and we’ll continue to address reading comprehension as the work becomes more difficult. It remains, however, that what none of us can seem to help him grasp is the very thing he needs the most.

Entry filed under: autism. Tags: , , , , , , , , .

C-isms, XV No middle ground

10 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Holly's Mom  |  May 26, 2009 at 5:06 am

    That makes me so sad.. He is such an amazing little guy, it is so hard to know how to make friends and find that person with whom you just click, I wish a friend for him, I know there is not a lot a mom can do.. Maybe just keep an eye out for that other little boy out there who may be a little bit quirky, but sweet, and a little lonley and invite him over, but it is so rare to find a kindred spirit.

    • 2. asdmommy  |  June 4, 2009 at 9:04 pm

      I am definitely on the watch!

  • 3. therocchronicles  |  May 26, 2009 at 7:46 am

    Owe, my heart aches as I read this. I see this unfolding for the Roc in years to come.

  • 4. looksgoodinpolkadots  |  May 26, 2009 at 12:09 pm

    I grasp onto each new sign and tiny milestone with the thought, “we can get through this… She is going to be ok.” And the rest of the time I try not to beat my head on the wall in frustration.

    Little Critter talks about “friends” but it’s not reciprocal… It heart breaking but also exciting to see movement in that direction even though it’s much slower than her peers.

    Praying for C, my bug and all the others out there who are facing similar challenges. At the end of the day we all need someone to call friend.

    • 5. asdmommy  |  June 4, 2009 at 9:04 pm

      Yup, I’d settle for just one for him – keep thinking he’ll really find someone. He came close this year, but it seemed to fizzle out – yet I’m excited he had a friend for awhile.

  • 6. mommy~dearest  |  May 27, 2009 at 10:05 am

    You could have written this post about my son. He’s very outgoing and friendly, and kids like him, but at the end of the day, he really has no close bond with any other kids.

    At 7 years old, he just had his first real playdate. Ever. He pretty much invited himself over a classmate’s house, but she accepted, and it went well. I’m hoping there’s more playdates to come. 🙂

    • 7. asdmommy  |  June 4, 2009 at 9:03 pm

      Yippee! Here’s hoping for more playdates!

  • 8. robinaltman  |  May 27, 2009 at 4:29 pm

    C is such a little sweetie. Maybe when he’s older some of the kids will catch up to him. It’s heartbreaking to be a mom.

    • 9. asdmommy  |  June 4, 2009 at 9:03 pm

      That is the nicest thing I’ve heard all day! Having someone say the other kids need to catch up to C instead of the other way around is always a good thing to hear.

  • 10. Oregon CEC  |  June 15, 2009 at 12:46 am

    Too many times you hear such negative things from parents in relation to IEP meetings. Its great that you “now feel as though the members of C’s team so closely grasp both his strengths and challenges that I find myself inspired to soldier on in shepherding this amazing child.”

    You sound so positive in your efforts, keep up the good work!


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