And so it begins

August 10, 2009 at 5:11 am 11 comments

     On this morning of the first day of school, I find myself more anxious than usual about the new year. After one year of difficulties with boys, I thought it might be a fluke. After two years, I know it’s a pattern. So what will 3rd grade bring, and is there any way C can attend an all girls school?

     The elusive path to friendship with a peer boy eludes C. I worry that all the boys in his class will be gargantuan-sized athletic boys who understand the subtle ways to tease someone else and get away with it. I have visions of C sitting alone at the lunch table, trying not to cry into his rice milk. Will yet another year pass with the only party invitation being from the boy whose Mother makes him invite the whole class?    

     We’ve done everything we can to pave the way to a successful year. We explored the idea of holding him back to be with a “nicer” group of boys, but decided against it. I met with C’s new principal multiple times to ensure his placement with the teacher who would be the best match for him. I took C in to meet with said best-match-teacher (heretoforeveraftermore dubbed “Mrs. D”) last week, and, as per usual, he is smitten (so am I). It helps that Mrs. D resembles “Peach,” C’s favorite Mario character, and has dog pictures scattered around her room. 

     There is hope. C’s desk is next to a girl from his class last year who was delightfully kind to him. I’ve volunteered to be class Mom in the hopes that I can arrange some playdates with other kids. The new special education teacher seems to be a definite bright spot.

     I don’t want much. Just. One. Friend. Surely that’s not too much to ask.

Entry filed under: autism. Tags: , , , , , , , , , .

The things we share Who would I be?

11 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Jesch  |  August 10, 2009 at 6:00 am

    Welcome back. I’ve missed you.

  • 2. pixiemama  |  August 10, 2009 at 6:54 am

    I’ve missed you, too.
    But, as is my typical fashion, I must complain.
    Our school doesn’t start until Sept. 1!

    Just one friend is certainly not too much to ask. That kiddo is out there. He’ll find C.


  • 3. Angie  |  August 10, 2009 at 7:41 am

    Oh, that breaks my heart. Being a mom is heartbreaking because we can only do so much and you, my friend, do SO MUCH! C is lucky to have you…and hopefully soon he’ll have a friend who will consider themselves lucky to be C’s bud.

  • 4. Ghkcole  |  August 10, 2009 at 7:59 am

    We are all rooting for you both to have a great year.

  • 5. goodmum  |  August 10, 2009 at 4:58 pm

    I too am suffering from starting-school-anxiety and my boy doesn’t even start for another month. It’s so hard. Man, it’s hard. I feel your pain. I hope and pray that both of our boys can find a way to succeed and attach to one or two real friends. Who knew this mothering gig would be so hard, huh?

    P.S. I’m glad you’re back. 🙂

  • 6. BQkimmy  |  August 10, 2009 at 7:04 pm

    School has started already??? wow! We have one more week and I thought our city started back early.

    I hope C finds at least one really good friend this year. One good friend is worth so much more than a dozen so-so friends.

  • 7. therocchronicles  |  August 10, 2009 at 7:14 pm

    Welcome back! I’ve missed reading your posts.

    I’m anxious for the start of school too and the Roc doesn’t start for another 2 weeks!

    1 friend is not too much to ask. I’m hoping for that match this year (for C and for the Roc too)

  • 8. mama edge  |  August 11, 2009 at 6:14 am

    Another reader cheering your return! I too hope for my son to find a friend. Maybe this is our year!

  • 9. Alison Auerbach  |  August 11, 2009 at 11:22 am

    I’ve gone and continue to go through this with The Boy too. The most useful thing I learned was to start out with very short playdates: 30 to 45 minutes (of which15 minutes can be “making” and eating a snack). Leaves ’em wanting more of one another.

    And, if it’s any consolation, though The Boy continues to be a largely parallel playmate, one of his buddies actually rescheduled his birthday party this year so that The Boy could attend. I was floored. Taught me that The Boy’s version of a close friendship is really different than mine. And as long as he’s OK with it, who cares?

    Wish C and The Boy could meet–I’d bet they’d be good pals.

    Take care,

  • 10. Good Fountain  |  August 11, 2009 at 12:11 pm

    I can so understand your wish for just one friend. My fingers are crossed that this is the year for C.

    (And welcome back to blogging! You were missed!)

  • 11. looksgoodinpolkadots  |  August 11, 2009 at 1:42 pm

    We’ve missed you! Glad you are back… such a poignant post! One friend is not too much to ask… and you will help C find him… but it may not be in school. Perhaps another avenue will bring a much loved BFF- music or art or the park.

    Best wishes and much love!


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