The ties that bind

September 16, 2009 at 11:26 am 4 comments

     C has gone through developmental stages at various times, none of which seemed to quite match the evil developmental charts posted in the pediatrician’s office. Separation anxiety reared it’s ugly head at the start of 1st grade. In preschool, it was, “See ya’ Mom!” Or at least that’s what I imagined him saying if he could talk. At the time I thought perhaps he had skipped that developmental step altogether, and I patted myself on the back while I walked out of the building, teary eyed from my own separation anxiety.

     When the anxiety hit in first grade, it hit hard. I remember one particularly dark day when a teacher had to pry C off me, screaming and thrashing as the other kids looked on. C of course was fine five minutes later, although I spent the remainder of my day in that same teary eyed state. I’m sure the teacher was used to it, but I felt bad for her too.

     The anxiety has mellowed, although there’s always a few weeks at the beginning of the year where the tears flow in the car on the way to school, and I find myself using every trick in my book to distract C and stave off a complete meltdown. Now, however, one month in, he goes to school with a somewhat steely resignation that I know is replaced by happiness the minute he gets in the door.

     C still, however, wants me to walk him onto the playground and stay until his class lines up and goes inside. Thankfully, there’s at least one other parent in the third grade whose child is the same way, and we commiserate on the way to the parking lot about whether or not we’ll be walking our kids to their college classes in the future. We hope not.

     I’m sure teachers everywhere would like us to just drop our kids off and get the heck out of the picture. Things would probably be a lot simpler for them, which is always a good thing. If I had a typical kid, I might do that, but I figure there’s a time and place for coddling C a little bit, and if my being there in the morning lessens his anxiety, then I’ll do it. Frankly, I’m in no rush for it, but I’m hoping the developmental stage of C’s wanting me to drop him off at least a block from school – so as not to be embarrassed by my geeky Mom demeanor – will happen at some point. Hopefully that will happen before college.

Entry filed under: autism. Tags: , , , , , , , , .

Sometimes the sword beats the pen C-isms XVII

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. robinaltman  |  September 16, 2009 at 6:59 pm

    I totally agree. No harm, no foul. If it makes C feel better, what the heck? It’s sort of sweet, you big geek.

  • 2. FXSmom  |  September 16, 2009 at 7:38 pm

    I am so blessed that I have teachers that are okay with me being in their faces all the time. I hear a lot from teachers about how they wish more parents of sped kids would be involved and in their face.

    Time should work out the separation anxiety. It’ll happen 🙂

  • 3. therocchronicles  |  September 17, 2009 at 9:54 am

    If it works for him that’s all that matters. Plus, you got to see the need for playground intervention and thus the pilot program you are starting! Good stuff has come out of separation anxiety!

  • 4. pixiemama  |  September 30, 2009 at 9:26 am

    I don’t know. Reilly and I still walk Foster to his classroom, and each morning after we drop Foster off, Reilly’s little hand finds its way into mine as we walk back toward his classroom. I think I will keen and wail the day he says “see ya!” and heads straight to his classroom by himself.

    Catch me in a few years – I might feel differently.

    But, really, Reilly is in second grade this year and I am still relishing that little hand in mine like the mother of a toddler who never knows when her baby will stop falling asleep on her lap…


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