Sleepy head

January 13, 2010 at 9:48 am 4 comments

     The word “tired” is one I’d like to remove from my vocabulary, and one by which I judge myself – harshly – quite frequently. I’ve been tired for 20 years, which is neither here nor there, and despite many docs’ unsuccessful attempts to sort through tired for me, no one has every hit a satisfactory reason. Most days, I wish I did, or could, drink coffee, despite sickening at the very smell of it.

     My constant state of tired makes me view parents of multiple children with an admiration bordering on fervor. How do they DO it? I marvel as I watch a Mom with a brood of little ones following after her in the grocery store. I admit to vacillating between thoughts of a friend’s insanity or perhaps her sainthood when she adopted a 5th child who has severe bipolar disorder, fetal alcohol syndrome and autism. Another family I know adopted 6 children, all with varying degrees of autism, and Mum homeschools them all. Both thankful for wonderful families like theirs and at the same time curious about what makes them tick, I’ve often compared my own unlikely sainthood to this high standard and have naturally found myself lacking.

     Yet there are moments when I pat myself on the back for recognizing that we needed to stop at one, because we both wanted to and for the fact that we were both a little older (you’re welcome, Husband, for my not pointing out just how older we are, and just how much older than I are you) when we started our happy little family. While we like to think that a little bit of age made us wiser and smarter parents (it did), I, for one, have come to understand why our bodies are built to have babies when we are 17.

Entry filed under: autism. Tags: , , , , , , , .

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4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. pixiemama  |  January 13, 2010 at 1:09 pm

    Well, I can answer that last question – it’s because we were supposed to be dead by now. Between improvements in living conditions and the miracles of modern medicine, we’re living up to 3 times longer than our ancestors.

    But yeah – tired. Bone weary. Exhausted. Want to go take a nap even though I’m on the clock for 2 more hours.


  • 2. T$  |  January 13, 2010 at 1:31 pm

    yes, how DO you DO it? we can barely take care of ping (see most recent facebook post). so happy we never took the plunge, but also so happy that you did.

  • 3. mama edge  |  January 13, 2010 at 7:35 pm

    I think some of us just need more sleep. I went to lots of docs myself during my early years as a mom, and the consensus was that I was simply sleep-deprived. Given that I couldn’t magically reduce my family demands on my time, I pinned my hopes on the idea that, someday, my body would adjust and learn to function with less sleep, Unfortunately,all these years later, nothing has changed, and anything less than nine hours a night just doesn’t cut it.

    Which probably explains why I’m such a scatter-brained biatch. Wee!

  • 4. robinaltman  |  January 13, 2010 at 8:31 pm

    I have no clue how people do it. I’m in awe of parents of kids who whine. I’m in awe of everyone.


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