You say Levicious, I say Leviticus

March 22, 2011 at 6:37 am 13 comments

     C tends to be on one end of the spectrum or the other, no pun intended. Inevitably during the first weeks of each school year, C’s teacher will email me asking, “Does C go to the bathroom a lot at home? Because he’s going a lot here…” I have to explain to them that he will go a lot (mostly to explore) at first, and then it will wear off…then they’ll email me later in the year with concerns that he’s not going enough during the day.

     Every. Single. Year.

     As is his way, C tends to overdo, generally followed later by underdo. It’s sometimes entertaining and sometimes dangerous (like the kindergarten bathroom experience during his plumbing phase, where he got diarrhea so often it prompted him to ask me if everyone got it once a month). If nothing else, it’s always interesting.

     This time, it’s the Bible. We knew it would happen; his previous inexposure to church coupled with an immersion into an Evangelical Christian school would likely result in a soaking up of the information like a sponge. The Bible is appealing to C as it has lots of numbers, chapters, and short clips to memorize. I don’t even have to quiz him on his weekly Bible verse as he usually has it memorized on the first day it is assigned. C asks everyone their favorite verse. It is reminiscent of his weight phase when he was four and asked everyone he encountered – and I mean everyone – their weight. We were all too happy when that one passed. I don’t think I’ve ever explained or apologized as much as I did during that phase.

     But I reached my limit this afternoon after 20 solid minutes of Bible discussion – or more of a one-sided fountain of information with few spaces for breath – in the car. “I don’t like Levicious (Leviticus) or Dotonony (Deuteronomy), Mom. What’s your favorite verse you learned by heart? I already know this week’s verse. It’s _____. Mrs. T’s favorite verse is ___, and I asked her if we could learn that next week. So the Jews like the Old Testament and the Christians the New Testament, right? I think I like the Psalms. I know Pa’s favorite verse. I’m not the nicest kid in the world, Mom, Jesus is. Whose name do you say when you pray, God or Jesus? I say Jesus or the Holy Spirit. Did you pray that Mrs. T’s smartboard would work today, Mom? I did. You know you should pray five times a day, don’t you? Do you? Pray five times a day? I do.”   

     I finally had to ask him to stop. I could barely get a word in edgewise. We’ve had therapists tell us in the past to stop him when he’s going on and on about a special interest, all while ignoring all the cues from other people who have lost interest long ago. We’ve also had therapists tell us that we should be his soft place to fall and should engage and immerse ourselves in C’s special interests every bit as much as he does. I don’t know what the answer is, but I know I’d heard enough proselytizing for a Friday afternoon and had to call “enough.”

     The Bible discussion inevitably turns into preaching. I’m used to C imposing his moral code on us – he’s a rules boy, after all – but not quite in this format. If you want to be disconcerted, try being preached at (I know it’s not grammatically correct, but he actually IS preaching AT you) by an almost ten-year old. No one is immune, except, it seems, my brother and sister-in-law. I’ve been waiting for that first “Have you been saved?” phone discussion, but it just hasn’t happened. Yet.

     So, have YOU heard the good word? No? Well, come on over to our house, we’ve got plenty to share.

Entry filed under: autism. Tags: , , , , , , , , , .

Completely uninterested, thank you very much. Ten

13 Comments Add your own

  • 1. rosie  |  March 22, 2011 at 7:05 am

    Don’t forget his preaching to ben “I tried to teach him to show god mercy to get forgiveness for making sophie (ben’s sister) upset but ben wouldn’t listen & show god mercy”. I believe I had to turn around as to not show evidence of my chuckling! It was cute and way funny! He was so concerned about ben’s damnation at that moment. Ben can be a little bible thumper at times but we haven’t gotten in to verses yet but I do find me reminding myself many times a day of 1st corinthians ‘love is patient, love is kind….’ Neither of which I am often enough!!

  • 2. mommy~dearest  |  March 22, 2011 at 10:38 am

    This is hilarious. Can I borrow him so the Jehova’s have someone to talk to when they come by?

  • 3. web  |  March 22, 2011 at 10:45 am

    This makes me grateful that I have one of those very skeptical Aspies. 😉

  • 4. Patty  |  March 22, 2011 at 6:58 pm

    Oh, heck, I can just imagine how hard it must be for you, but this post really makes me laugh. I was just starting to get annoyed at my son for yakking about Legos non-stop. I think I’ll take that over proselytizing!

  • 5. fiona2107  |  March 22, 2011 at 8:25 pm

    Oh Wow!
    There a new special interest that I bet you didn’t count on!

    I remember when my daughter was 5 in Kindergarten at a Christian school and we went to the supermarket on the way home and she was in her uniform so the cashier asked her what she learnt at school today….she looked her in the eye and replied : “We learnt that if you love Jesus you go to heaven but if you don’t…you go to hell…So, where are YOU going?”
    I was mortified!

  • 6. T$  |  March 23, 2011 at 4:01 am

    hmm, i wonder why we haven’t been preached at yet? at least i have time to prepare a response.

  • 7. Lizbeth  |  March 23, 2011 at 10:47 am

    Oh jeesh, are you wishing for him to start asking everyone’s weight again? LOL

    My son became obsessed with tattoo’s…I almost got killed at Walmart when he saw a bad Mickey Mouse! I could have used your son’s prayers then…

  • 8. goodfountain  |  March 23, 2011 at 8:47 pm

    Ha! I’m sorry, but it is funny. The Bible is really big book you know… this interest can go on for a long, long while!

  • 9. Merri Lewis  |  March 31, 2011 at 7:05 am

    I guess your C is actually meditating on it Day & Night!!! LOL you must have been laughing at my post 🙂 My Dash has only been memorizing K’nex instructions lately, but he did get fascinated by the Bible with all those numbers and letters, and memorizing things–but not quite that intensely!!!

  • 10. Alienhippy  |  March 31, 2011 at 7:59 am

    Totally loved reading this post, I found you through your comment on Merri’s blog. My son also did this and I was called into the school a few times because of it. My favourite time was when he was telling the children about Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.
    I really didn’t know what to say to his teacher as I knew that he had got this obsessive behaviour from me.
    In my opinion, the Bible is perfectly laid out for those on the spectrum. Reading the Bible is what got me reading.
    It took Jesus 3 months to teach me what school failed to teach me in 11 years. Gotta love that Aspie obsessing.
    Love and hugs.
    Lisa. xx 🙂

  • 11. visionofautism  |  April 2, 2011 at 3:24 pm

    Ha ha ha ha! OMG [don’t tell him I said that] this is so funny – I’m sorry! My daughter [3] is obsessed with babies. and everything about babies. at all hours of the day. I guess in my somewhat sheltered world of autism, i never really thought about the plethora of subjects that could be obsessed about – to some parent’s dismay! Lets see… It could be worse:
    -He could be addressing other people’s bowel movements constantly
    -Sexuality of some sort or another
    -Something that would come across as racist
    ???? [I’m not helping, am I]

    Hugs and smiles, I’m sure it isn’t always funny, but I’m thankful for the smile on my face at the moment…

  • 12. momfog  |  April 21, 2011 at 11:04 pm

    I’d take the Bible over baseball statistics ANY day. Every stat is preceded by the word, “FACT.”

    This is a great blog. I see a little piece of our family in every post.

  • 13. Sharon J  |  May 28, 2011 at 3:36 pm

    This was a funny post that made me smile, but I have to admit that having a 10 year old preach at me for 20 minutes would probably do my head in, too. Hopefully he’ll one day learn to understand the cues to stop.


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