I must…

August 16, 2012 at 8:51 am 12 comments

be crazy. No, scratch that. I know I’m crazy.

     School registration came up quickly this past spring, and I knew in my heart I didn’t want to send C back to his current school. There’s so many reasons why I felt this way: not the least of which was one of his teachers telling him God spoke in her ear at the bookstore and told her the Harry Potter books were evil; or the fact that based on one test (which “I didn’t do well on purpose because I didn’t want more homework, Mommy”), C was placed in what seemed to be remedial math (despite his being able to do long division in his head); or the fact that several of his specials teachers gave him such useless, meaningless, negative comments – without any context – on his report card. It’s more than that; it’s a feeling that despite getting straight As last quarter, the gaps in C’s education are far greater than they should be. 

     So the great search began once again. C “shadowed” at two schools. We chose one of the two, enrolled him for next year, and settled down to wait. Except I didn’t feel settled. That little voice in my head just kept creeping back in telling me none of it felt right. It grew and grew until I hatched a new plan. All of C’s schools – public, charter, and private  – went sour after a time, and some far more quickly than others. We keep moving C to a different school, either because the current school doesn’t work or because we actually move, and they all turn out the same. Some sour more quickly than others, but they all end up in the same place – the WRONG place.

     Then I saw that quote about the square peg fitting into a round hole:  The problem with trying to fit a square peg into a round hole isn’t that it’s hard to hammer, but rather that you are actually destroying the peg.

     And boom. There it was. It’s not that the schools are wrong (although some of them, frankly, are). Perhaps it’s that C doesn’t belong in school. Perhaps putting him through the stress and anxiety of trudging through school every day, never wanting to go back on Monday mornings, and feeling like the week is one hundred years long is not what C needs. Perhaps there is no school that is right for C.

     So the idea was born. I resigned my job, cancelled his registration at his new school, and started planning. C and I will start our new homeschooling adventure on September 3, 2012. Our journey along the path to what we need continues with this newest chapter, and I hope you’ll join us.

Entry filed under: autism. Tags: , , , , , , .

Hoop Dreams In the Weeds

12 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Scott Baird  |  August 16, 2012 at 9:24 am

    An excellent choice, Darcy. My oldest daughter home-schooled all three of her children. One was extremely gifted in math, one autistic, and one with severe dyslexia. Nicole found several home-schooling groups – some religious, some like you and Nicole. Nicole was quite successful: all three boys (now men) are well educated, comfortable around adults, happy in their post-high school schools, and fun to be around.

  • 2. stayquirkymyfriends  |  August 16, 2012 at 10:01 am

    Embrace and protect your square peg! I know exactly, exactly how you feel. [well except for the long-division-in-his-head part…we still haven’t figured out what my kiddo will excel at…] I am keeping my fingers crossed for you and C on this new path…You may be crazy, but crazy is good in this case! Just take it slow and think outside the darned box! 🙂

  • 3. thehomeschoolmomblog  |  August 16, 2012 at 10:36 am

    Welcome to the wide world of homeschooling. It is a fun adventure and we look forward to hearing how it goes! There are so many options opened to you, you really can’t go wrong.

  • 4. Kim  |  August 16, 2012 at 6:13 pm

    I can’t wait to read how it goes! Hoping for the best for you and C!

  • 5. Ivy  |  August 18, 2012 at 7:53 pm

    I just discovered your blog, and our kids are very similar. You are a wonderful writer! I have been thinking about homeschooling for a while, and I can’t wait to hear your thoughts. Wishing you all the best in your new adventure!

  • 6. Marc  |  August 20, 2012 at 3:02 pm

    So, does he get homework then…
    We miss you guys.

  • 7. Michelle - Nathan's Mom  |  August 23, 2012 at 10:43 pm

    Wishing you great success on this new journey. I can’t tell you how many times I have wondered the same thing.

  • 8. Dearna  |  September 8, 2012 at 2:27 am

    I have thought of this post often this week, I hope week one of your new home school adventure went well.

  • 9. Caroline  |  September 28, 2012 at 12:22 pm

    Have just found your blog. You sound an amazing parent. I am on a new journey myself having a little boy who is I think has hyperlexia. We are going though testing evaluations. With two older brothers life is busy, and this is going to be a challenge to find his fit! Good luck, and trust your instincts.

  • 10. Ruth  |  November 10, 2012 at 6:28 pm

    Instead of reading my usual fictional or non-fictional books over the past couple of months, I have read your blog from the beginning. I have a 4 1/2 year old grandson with aspergers. Both my daughter and I have had experience teaching children on the spectrum, but nothing prepares you for the challenge of raising a child who is family and loved completely. Your blog experiences have been often been heart wrenching or humorous, but always inspiring and instructive. Your tales of bullying and exclusion are, of course, my greatest fear. It is very brave of you to choose home schooling C, but I worry about the continued toll it is taking on you. I would like to hear how it is going for you. Are you going to consider his return to school when he enters high school? Middle school is a “special” period of life and not for any but the strongest–students and teachers alike.

    Good luck and thanks for your contribution to the autism support world!

  • 11. Nellie  |  February 13, 2013 at 5:41 pm

    Found this blog a few days ago and have since read through the archives. I’m smitten with C. (As is my 19 yo aspie son who NEVER reads anything to do with mommy blogs. He truly enjoys the c-isms.) You are a lovely writer and an amazing mother, I wish I could have been anything like you. Son is now transitioning to the real world (= a job + his own apartment) and there is STILL so much I should have explained to him and taught him and instructions I should have given and yada yada….
    I’m truly interested in your home schooling experience, although I realize you probably don’t have time to blog.
    What you have chronicled here describes so so so so so well the joy and grief a child on the spectrum can bring. THANK YOU!

  • 12. Ivy  |  July 16, 2013 at 10:51 pm

    I hope your homeschooling was great this year! I’ve missed your blog, but I know you have been busy! I am sure C. enjoyed being homeschooled and learned a lot!


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