Clearing the mind

January 13, 2019 at 6:12 pm Leave a comment

I am not a huge fan of “stuff.” I don’t own 100 pairs of shoes, tons of make-up, or hordes of purses. Hubs is similar. We each have our collection of things, though…I have lots of tennies (comfort is important to me), and Hubs has lots of camping gear (his days as a park ranger aren’t that far behind him). Relatively speaking, we don’t own a ton of possessions. However, we differ in a way that I find interesting: Hubs likes a clean surface and I like a clean drawer. I like to think we complement each other in that way.

In my mind, my desire for organized dressers and kitchen cupboards was always a metaphor for what was going on in my mind. I would clean a drawer in an attempt to clear my head of its figurative clutter. It never really worked all that well…my restlessness and general melancholy were only relieved in small doses.

I often think C’s brain is just so full that he can’t settle enough to experience peace. Whether it’s autism, teenager-y, or his general personality I’m not sure – probably it’s all three. In my journey toward mindfulness, I have come to recognize how difficult a skill that would be for C, and he in fact struggles with it greatly. Not that I always find it easy, but I have calmed my inner clutter enough and have experienced enough reward for it that I want him to get there too.

Enter Marie Kondo. I have been familiar with her concept for years, but only generally. Lately, however, I have been watching her show on Netflix, and to say the connection between outer and inner clutter has become more clear to me is an understatement. I spent many hours yesterday Kondo-ing my closet, and despite my comment above that I’m not a girly-girl with lots of clothes, I managed to get rid of at least half of what was in there. The sense of relief has been palpable. I can’t wait to get to everything else.

For me, it seems I needed to calm some of the inner clutter before I could tackle the outer instead of the other way around. I am not sure what the key is for C, but I find myself hoping that his months of living without all of his stuff while in residential treatment has aided in his ability to experience inner calm.

Entry filed under: autism. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , .

Make new friends, but keep the old Sanctuary

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