Posts tagged ‘funny’

C-isms, Part VII

I want to be together forever with you, Mommy. So then you can buy me stuff.

MOMMMMMYYYYYY!!!!! THERE’S SOMETHING COMING IN FROM OUTSIDE MY WINDOW AND I THINK IT’S IN THE SHAPE OF LIGHTNING!!!!!

I’m a little worried about A’s box of crayons. He doesn’t have the aquamarine crayon.

(As he’s pouring water down his swimsuit trunks) I’m washing my dooder. It’s really dirty. How did it get dirty, C?  It’s been wiggling around a lot and it got really dirty.

Wanna know something cool about me, Mommy? I can read words on a 4th, 5th, and 6th grade level!

Mommy, if I saw you at the store, and you wanted to be selled, how much would you be?

August 21, 2008 at 6:30 am 5 comments

Where did everybody go???

     “Mommy, I have no one to play with. Who else can play with me? There’s no one else in my house. All of my imaginary friends are on vacation.”

😦

June 17, 2008 at 6:06 am 2 comments

Black and white world

     There is very little gray in C’s life. We love to see those moments when the line between black and white has been blurred, but they are few and far between. Subtle humor and plays on words are often not in C’s realm of thinking. It allows for a different kind of humor to play out – one where we enjoy his literalism, and it provides some hilarious moments.

     Recently C and Daddy were playing baseball at the park. As C tried running around the bases, Daddy reminded him to touch home plate. He came around third, sprinted into home, stopped, bent over, and placed his hand on home. There’s no arguing with that logic; he did exactly what Daddy told him to do.

     The other night a mosquito bit C on the forehead, and he was very upset. In order to get him to stop screaming, I told him I’d draw a picture of that mean old mosquito. Underneath the mosquito, I wrote, “Mr. Mosquito, poop on him!” C studied the picture intensely, calming almost immediately. “But Mommy,” he said, “where’s the poop on him?”

     Who needs TV? We’ve got constant, live entertainment, right in our living room.

June 12, 2008 at 8:39 am 1 comment

C-isms, part V

Mommy, why do you think Ms. Mc wasn’t at science night? Maybe she had something else to do – maybe you guys wore her out at school today and she’s already asleep! Do you think she’s dreaming about the boys and girls in her class?  Maybe she’s dreaming about us losing our recess!!!

(From writing journal) The mailman is inpornant to send us and every budy mail.

I can’t find my smile….it’s nowhere to be seen. I will be wearing my sad face for a long, long time.

(From writing journal) Once a puon of time there was a Mom. She was a helpful person.

Can you inside this out for me?

(After stubbing his toe) My toe is clobbered.

Do girls’ breasts just pop out? Does it happen in just a minute?

MOMMY! THERE’S A SPIDER! CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!!!!

(As I’m getting ready to go out to the pool in a bikini…) Mommy, why do you have THOSE breasts on today?

How many babies do you think I should get? Maybe 2 or 3. Or 7. I’ll have to make a big house with 7 rooms. Where will YOU sleep, C?  I’ll share a room with one of my babies. Unless he has the flu. Then I’ll take care of him.

 

June 9, 2008 at 8:24 am 7 comments

The trouble with technology

     We held off on letting C use the computer or play video games for a long time. We knew once he started, there would be no stopping him. Fortunately, because he is a very young 7, he has no interest in or knowledge of the kinds of video games everyone complains about. His loves are Pac-man, Galaga, Dig Dug and Pole Position. The oldies, but goodies.

     Now, anything with technolgy is of interest. He reprogrammed our last remote control so everything (including the words you see on your guide channel) was in Spanish. He did so many things to the remote control that we couldn’t figure out, I felt like I had a direct line to the cable company help desk. At one point the guy on the other end admitted he’d never seen anyone be able to do what C had done to our remote control without actually being an employee of the cable company.

     When C discovered our cell phones, he was hooked. Letting him explore the cell phone became the motivation big enough to make him tolerate a haircut. He’d program in all sorts of non-existent phone numbers and send text messages of the alphabet straight to nowhere. The worst, however, was when Husband’s business manager told Husband he had $50 of not-work-related charges on his work cell phone that month. It took only a few moments to discover C had been downloading games from the internet onto the cell phone, something we didn’t even realize was possible. Husband’s phone became off-limits, and downloading anything, anywhere has now been strictly forbidden. Even worse, the next month, the charges were $70. We discovered he had not only downloaded the games, but incurred the monthly subscription charges for said games as well.

      I see in the future being one of those really dumb sounding parents who say something along the lines of “Well, he was online, but we didn’t know he could be doing THAT!”

May 20, 2008 at 10:10 pm 7 comments

Just like heaven…

     I’m really not trying to be political here, because it’s not what I do, but C is intensely interested in the election all of a sudden. It has renewed his prior interest in heaven, and has now merged with his interest in Presidents. This morning’s conversation went something like this:

“Mommy, is that Barack Mogana on the tv?”

“Yes, C, it is Barack Obama.”

“Is he our new President? Did George Bush pick him?”

“No, the outgoing President doesn’t get to pick the new President. Barack Obama (probably) and John McCain will have to run against each other and the voters will decide who is the next President.”

“I hope Barack OBAMA will be the next President. I think he would make a very good President. I hope I’m President someday and that people would vote for me.”

“I think you’d make a great President, C. I’d definitely vote for you, and I think lots of people would.”

“Yeah. Mommy, when I’m in heaven will I meet the Presidents?”

“Sure you will, and you can ask them lots of questions!”

[Grins] “COOL! I didn’t know that. How did you know that? Did you learn it in school?”

      Granted, it is the last week of school, but somehow I doubt C’s teacher has a lesson on heaven, the Presidents and the election planned.

May 16, 2008 at 11:09 am 3 comments

C-isms, part III

Mommy, what’s the last number before 246 counting by 3s starting at 4?

(As a police car races up our street, sirens blaring)  ARE THEY COMING FOR DADDY??? He was going 30 in a 25 this morning!

Mommy, I’m pretending I’m your age right now.  Why?   So I can take my Thomas engines on a field trip.  Why do you have to be my age to do that?  Because I think that’s what age you have to be to drive a bus. 

Did you know that there’s rocket trains??? (Sighs)  But they don’t blast off into space.

(As we’re shopping for Daddy’s b.day card and he’s looking at all the card categories)  Mommy, is Daddy our husband?

I was nice to B at school today. I’m always nice to B. Except on the 124th day of school when I was wearing a blue shirt.

Mommy, you should be President because you’re over 35 and you knowed enough.

(As the sun broke through the clouds today)  I’m so glad the overcast is over.

I did something wrong today. I wrote too big. My writing size was 72.  (For the unitiated, that would be font size he’s talking about, and probably he’s spot on in his estimation.)

Why wasn’t Chuck E. Cheese invented when you were a kid, Mommy? When was it made? Because it isn’t in my inventions book.

April 10, 2008 at 11:54 am 11 comments

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